The stories behind the songs

Written by Penny

Sensual Woman

Music is a powerful force. It has the ability to unite, to move, to make you laugh, to make you cry, to make you dream… Music was how I found who I was. Not only could I try my best to dress, talk and sing like the women I admired. But music gave me the ability to understand, in a way- their struggles, their hopes, their stories.. Etta, Erykah, Janis… Untethered and unapologetic. Crying out what they could never admit upfront- “One good man!”. 

But to write songs, I believe you have to know yourself deeply and truly. That I still didn't know. So I would cover these songs week after week. At jazz bars…on the street…in my room. Paying attention to what ideas and philosophies in the music, set my soul on fire. This undeniable feeling was an inner compass, leading me to who I was. 

It wasn't until I learned what the word sensuality actually meant, that I understood what I had been longing for- and what had been guiding me all along. Art forces you to slow down and think, and FEEL!! To feel- that's what we live for. The marrow of life and the fire it burns inside. Sensuality, in a way, is what drives music- to make us want to dance, and cry, and laugh, and express our love to one another.

But I still couldn't decide what was worthy enough on my mind to express. No significant romantic love on the brain. No heartbreak, no scandal. What all the great blues ballads are about. 

It wasn't until a particularly lonely summer that I started writing Sensual Women. It was June and I had left the midwest, with my eyes focused south. And with only one thing in mind, music. Which has been really the only thing on my mind since I was 15. And after finding out first hand that the hippies had left San Francisco 40 years ago, the next place I wound up was Nashville Tennessee. The first month in my new home, nights alone were spent like treasure hunts. How different can my life be when I wake up? I’d start at one bar. Talk to the nice gentleman eating shrimp and grits who would tell me that the place to go is a pickin’ parlor down the road. And so on. Always ending the night alone, with a hope that I was one day closer to it all making sense. 

But I had this unshakeable feeling that people weren't taking me seriously. Being misperceived- even by my closest friends. I wasn't being understood beyond my surface level. I was the only one who knew what my heart was after, and the fire that was lit inside me. I knew exactly the type of woman I was. The desires and passions that hid behind my eyes. And the only thing I could do was write it out. 

A poem I wrote on October 17th, 2025

If I were a man life would be different, yes

To start my feet wouldn’t hurt, And I’d never wear a dress

Maybe you'd see I had a mind after all..

Hiding under this big old head of hair

And this soul goes deep..under this lace brassiere

If I were a man, you’d see this passion isn’t just for show

Music, art, its all I got- hell it’s all I wanna know


I don’t want your boyfriend , Unless he’s named the blues

But if Marvin Gaye were alive to ask

Yes I’m free Friday after 2

If I were a man

There’d be no hoot and holler

I’d have my own dime, I’d make my own dollar

I don’t want to rag on the men

Hell you know I loved my fair share 

But before you look down my shirt at the jam

Make sure u got good health care

But if you can treat me like a woman, then the game is really on

Cuz I can write a mean song, 

and I can dance all night long

Witchy Woman

I've always been fond of songs about malicious…evil… witchy women. “The soul of a woman was created below”. 

I always believed there was some truth to that. Not that women were evil. But that we absolutely held some special power inside our bones… inside our soul. In society we briefly talk about it. We quote, ‘A woman' s intuition’ , ‘Mother knows best’, etc. 

I think as a girl, as you grow older, you start to take account of how the world works. And it's frightening at first. Your grandma briefly mentions she couldn't have a house in her name. You give the ice cream man some cash and change, and realize there's not a single woman's face on any of them. The truth? What men have known all along- what type of power a woman holds. I mean you see it daily. It's a miracle there are any men left in this world! They are so busy staring at a woman simply strolling by, I'm surprised more of them don't walk into oncoming traffic or something.

We are the portal to the other world. 

We don't call it ‘Mother Nature’ for no reason.

Womanhood. Femininity. It's a magical and mystical phenomenon. 

Now in no way am I saying men are lesser than, or useless. But there's something special, different, about women. Something witchy. 

And may we celebrate it… and never forget it. 

Flee to a New City

Though it's been years since I felt the intense level of thirst that I had for freedom, as I did when I was seventeen- it still comes back to me in waves. It wasn't that I was a prisoner of any sort. My parents were caring, attentive, and understanding. But being the youngest child, I always grew up a little too fast. I also had an undeniably wild heart- that left a burning desire in my soul that only the taste of being footloose could satisfy. 

I guess you could say my head has always been in the clouds. Movies and music and literature were like a gateway drug. A channel into the fantasy that life could hold. I admired stories of people taking the road less traveled. Stories of people going out in search of love, dreams, but most importantly themselves. 

I believe everyone's life is a movie. The ups, and downs, the climaxes, the villains, the heroes, the heartbreaks. I would sit in my bedroom staring at a wall filled with people living their story, just waiting for the day I could go write my own. 

I believe the best work of art is a life well lived. A life filled with passion and love.

So there I was at seventeen. Sitting in my bedroom, where so many hours were spent alone simply dreaming. Wondering where my life would and could take me. Every destination held a new version of myself I could become. There were doorways in my soul that could only be accessed through experience, and I was eager to unlock them. I didn't even truly care where I started, all I knew was I had to go. I’d figure the rest out on the way.

I was eager to know who I truly was when no one was watching- and simultaneously an entire audience's eyes. If life is the best work of art, then you have the ability to sketch out whatever your heart desires. A new name, a new place, a new lover, a new outlook. 

So there I was, freshly 18 in San Francisco by myself. And freedom sure did taste sweet on a Saturday night; singing on the streets with some jazz cats. Though freedom is kind of a double edged sword. With intense freedom, comes intense loneliness. And I would soon learn; everywhere you go, you take yourself. Maybe freedom is a state of mind after all. I’m still trying to figure that one out. 

Walking Blues

Oh walking blues. A song you can only write when you’re still naive and young enough to willingly walk into a situation- knowing it’ll end in flames. 

Where the high of passion and rose colored lens, only lasts til the sun comes up. 

I wish I could’ve told myself that everything I was searching for, was within me the whole time. 

But you live and you learn! And learn I sure did.

Though I believe no experience is wasted, when you’re on the road to your soul.

Locked out of Heaven

The mind has always fascinated me. I struggle to balance my time between the physical and metaphysical world. I can be caught in the whirlwind of my mind for days. And sometimes life feels like it will be daunting and hopeless forever. Maybe that's why I am so eager to help when I hear someone struggling. I can't find a solution for myself, but when helping other people the answer seems so simple. And it helps remind me that at the end of the day, the answer usually is as simple as; love.

Loving yourself, loving others, loving the world, loving someone despite the circumstances. It's so cliche, but I do love cliches. They are cliches for a reason people!!

I think we all have an inner compass in our hearts. The heart leads us to our most authentic self. It might not be the self society favors the most. It might even make your life significantly harder to choose that path. But the compass reminds you that you didn't choose this- it's your destiny. 

I’ve seen people shun parts of themselves away out of fear, shame, and what society deems is right. Parts of themselves that only come from the purest places of their heart. All I wanted to yell at them was; No part of you is a mistake- especially the part that comes from a place of love. 

The compass of our heart, can never lead us wrong. Even when we don't know what direction to go. Follow the heart. Lead with the love in your heart. Show it to others the way you want to be shown it.

Cliche I know. And thank god! Because I loveeee a cliche!